Ever go out with the masses and get a sense of smallness? Its not exactly insignificance but some sort of unsettled awareness that you did not have in your own home or environments. A sense that your life is minor. If there are this many people that can afford idle indulgences such as hours on end in a shopping mall or store then what about the rest of the population? How can what we are all doing really matter? Are we not all just, well....nothing? Does what we do really matter?
I'm in Costco this afternoon. And, well, its the perfect example of a warehouse style anonymity. Maybe its the concrete or possibly the steel rafters and boxed high ridiculum, but I feel like a mouse in a maze. Cheese, cheese, cheese, must find the best priced, most delicious cheese...
Looking around that sterile environment, I felt a sense of want. A sense of undetermined rancor. Acrid rancor. Why? What is this existence we experience all about anyway? Does it really matter what I do? Or what they do? Does it matter where we go, or what we say, or even where we are?
Its probably the weather. Seattle provides wonderful writing and thinking weather for those like myself who find themselves prone to stormy or romantic thinking if you will. Admittedly, I have a penchant for pondering. Although, few would guess my thoughts as I sit across from my lovely L. sharing a hot churro and cold soda. Often, my thoughts wander to these themes.
Well, I decided to decide.
Epiphany sought, ephiphany found...
Either nothing we do matters, or everything we do matters.
I decided its EVERYTHING.
Every time we choose to be thoughtful instead of careless
Every time we notice someone who we can help
Every time we give attention and love to others
Every time we see these masses with an eternal perspective, and we see brothers and sisters before our very eyes, fostering unconditional love.
Every time we discipline ourselves and reject our natural impulses that may be selfish and or ungodly.
Every time we restrain our tone of voice to show love instead of impatience
Every time we offer strength instead of publishing our weaknesses
Every time we are generous
Every time we are patient
Every time we go the extra mile and then go some more
Every time we love instead of hate
Every time we serve each other
Every time we remember to follow the example of Jesus Christ
IT MATTERS
the other stuff
well, it doesn't
matter at all.
Either EVERYTHING matters or NOTHING does.
I'm choosing EVERYTHING.
