Noticed that I have been blowin' some philosophical sunshine around this blog and thought I would do a 'get real' entry. Was inspired by a walk our family took on Sunday afternoon. We were about to leave and my oldest boy says " I can't find any shorts". I yell back..."Just grab something and lets go!!!" We stopped and chatted with a few neighbors on our way up the hill and I was significantly distracted by something rank.At first I thought of myself, doing the double check casually sniffing the air and locations southern. As we continued to walk the amazingly wretched stink seemed to follow us. I asked Marc if he could smell it, was I the only one pontificating on if a human could actually DIE from stink. I thought it possible. Detective interrogation-like questioning followed as I went from child to child and discussed possible bathroom misdemeanors. In general and as an important FYI 12 year olds do NOT smell very hygienic, something is hormonally and olfactory upset from the get-go into pre-pubescence, and so are their feelings and propensity for hypersensitivity.
Thus, upon my questioning my eldest I was careful to tread lightly. Eyes burning in his proximity allowed the conclusion without confession. It was him alright! Discovery: Shorts that had been worn to Lake Wilderness 2 weeks earlier!!!!!! They were in a plastic bag in his room for that long!!! It was the day we discovered a plethora of tiny leeches stuck to his legs and nether regions as well. It was bloated dead cat in the ditch kind of funk in those shorts on our walk that day. I will admit I tried desperately to ignore it. Impossible. I suggested he walk ahead of us, which proved unwise as we were downwind. Then I asked if he wouldn't mind walking behind us a ways. Half a block away and I could still smell it!!!! End of story I made such a STINK about the stink that the poor boy ended up jogging the rest of the way.
It amazes me what a compellingly powerful force stink is. You can be dog sick and if someone wretches on the floor the first thing you drag yourself over to is the source of stink and do everything in your power to eradicate it as quickly as possible no matter the nausea that ensues.
It is a major motivator of action when something goes south in the refrigerator. You will pull everything out and smell face first each and all saran wrapped items until the culprit is found.
Have you ever spilled milk in your car and not realized it until too late? It doesn't matter if it is 20 below, all windows are down and you are wondering if you can drive with your head out the window!
The only thing I have ever had the displeasure of smelling as bad as the lake shorts was a Turkey that had been 2 weeks too long in our refrigerator ( due to an unexpected trip) that we then threw in the trash the day after the last pick up so it baked in our trash can in the 90 degree heat all week until the swarms of flies alerted us to their dead carcass treasure! We could smell this one inside the house from the front window!
Ah, the motivating power of stink! It could be used in prisons, punishments, and business negotiations, carefully stationed as a form of torture to exact a quick end to all things unpleasant and punishable. Enough musing on stinkification. Take a minute to share your story of stink below and may all bottles of Clorox be revered from hence forth!